So-Co and Lime

"The HiLo is the only bar I have had the.... uh.... pleasure of seeing a naked man drinking at the bar next to a drag queen, a black cowboy, and a 40 year old woman with a mo-hawk." -- an acquaintance from the HiLo

I met Mom and Tona for a drink the other night. It isn't something that happens often, but I would like for it to happen again soon. Hanging out with Mom when she's had a couple drinks is a real ego-booster. While introducing me to people as her daughter, of course, she let each person know how hilarious I am. I don't think these people were too concerned with my personality as I was in a dress from Express that was...well...fitted. The short black dress was embellished with sparkles, as I was in a sparkle kind of mood that night. I haven't been out much lately, OK? It was an occasion of sorts.

The HiLo really is a special little place. You truly never know who you are going to run into. The bar is in OKC on Classen near Edna's, Drunken Fry, and the Speakeasy. It's a dark little hole in the wall that tends to get really packed on the weekends. If you haven't met the people who frequent there at least 20 or so times, they will not remember your name. I'm sure it has something to do with the insane amounts of alcohol consumed there, but I get to feel like the belle of the ball each and every time I step foot in the bar -- at least until they start to remember who I am and then I'm sure I will be known as "That smart mouthed girl that claims Tona is her Aunt".

It's easy to name drop Tona's name in the HiLo because sometimes she cocktails on Friday nights. It cuts out a lot of the get-to-know-you process that frankly sometimes bores the hell out of me. I can cut right into the part where I'm awesome. Using Tona as a name-drop is like an insta-friend button. I love it. One day, you will all be able to say my name and everyone will be like, "YEAH. She's so great. You must be great, too!" and you'll be like, "Yeah! You are totally right!"

And then you'll go out into the parking lot at closing time and puke because shots fly around that bar like its December 21,2012 already.

A few pointers in going to the HiLo:

1. Expect the unexpected.
2. Someone will probably cry on your shoulder.
3. Someone will end up buying you a shot. It will be strong.
4. People will strike up random conversations with you in line to get a drink.
5. On Friday nights the drag queens with call you out.
6. Expect homosexuals. They are there. They are sweet hearts.
7. Put your dance pants on. It can get crazy.
8. Expect to hear the word, "Titties," yelled out in unison at random times.
9. Bring taxi money.
10. Don't get offended by anyone. Everyone is wasted.

Old conversations between Jameson and Me

These are HILARIOUS!
They took place in 2008. Our sense of humor may not be for everyone, but we think we're funny.

jameson: well im dry heaving now
awesome
me: dang
no bueno
guess you wouldnt want to think about drinking spit...
jameson: jesus fuck
knock it off
me: sorry
im done
jameson: no you're not.
me: i swear

....

me: im just going to go home and go to sleep so i dont have to worry about getting sad or mad
i can just dream about living on a island with people who dont suck and a lot of tequila
jameson: this island would be me, you, and a bottle of tequila.
me: bottle(s)
jameson: im just assuming its a gigantic bottle
me: oh
any limes?
jameson: lime trees

.....

me: we should co-write a book
jameson: a self help book for the rest of the population
me: yes
jameson: "step one- kill yourself"
me: i was thinking we could give them some false hope first
jameson: chapter one - read chapter two, chapter two - kill yourself
better?
me: yes
jameson: ok
me: not a very long book
we're aalready done
jameson: thats right
me: is it possible that my bosses could be reading what im typing from another computer?
cause if they can... im so getting fired
jameson: yea, but i doubt that they would have that kind of capability
you need special programs and shit
me: SCIENCE museum
jameson: i think you're ok
me: thats good
CAUSE I LOVE THIS JOB
jameson: is that sarcasm
me: no, it was just in case

....

me: for the love of ME.
and you.
jameson: thanks for including me
me: you're God part 2
jameson: bullshit, that's a demotion
there is no parts
me: shit
then we need some guidelines
jameson: like what
me: the 10 commandments
jameson: new ones?
me: yes
'cept it'll probably be the 100 commandments
jameson: yea
or just "dont do anything irritating"
me: thats not broad enough
jameson: "dont do anything"
me: impossible
you suck at being God

....

me: when do you have class?
jameson: 1240
i gotta go in like 5
me: ahh
i dont know if i will be back on today, our movies are fuckin up
i might be going home early
jameson: then i have a midterm in "myth and fairytale"
joke.
me: cute
jameson: oh well, thats a positive
me: dont forget to wear your wings
jameson: i wont
me: and your sparkles on your eyes
jameson: and my blue eyeshadow
me: and dont forget to sprinkle the ground you walk with love, wishes, and hope.
jameson: yea, thats right, i love that shit
me: was that sarcasm?
jameson: yea

Gene Kelly and Me

I have been sinking into the world of Classic Movies. I think I have an addiction. You might say I need a life-- I say I was born in the wrong time period. I should have been in movies singing and tap dancing across the big screen. I would have been sensational and Gene Kelly would have been my lover. I'm a hell of a lot prettier than Betsy Blair, Jeanne Coyne, and Patricia Ward. He would have been 'Singin' in the Rain' because of me. Spinning around on light posts because of me. Sigh. The 2000's are boring.