What. In. The. Hell.

Ever had a day that was starting off so great that you said to yourself, "There is no way that this day could go bad"?

And then it did?

Just like walking into a sliding glass door when you're a little tipsy it hits you right in the face. "What in the hell," you ask yourself, "how did this even happen?"

Today was one of those days for me. A conversation with my mom went to shit in like 5 minutes. I'm not exaggerating, either. It went from constructive to, "I can't believe you just said that to me!"

Apparently, being honest with your mother is not the way to go. What the hell are you supposed to do when you want your mother to know that you think she is going about something the wrong way? You just want her to be healthy and happy. What is so wrong with that? I guess I just should have kept my mouth shut, but when have I ever done that? Wait. NEVER.

It's no secret that the past few weeks...months...(oh what the hell) years of my life have been nothing short of chaotic. Sure, things level out every once in a while, but you always know a shit-storm is in the forecast for sometime in the near future. It's never partly cloudy with a chance of drama. No. It's always take cover, Mother Fucker, Hurricane Don't-Give-A-Shit-If-You-Were-Having-A-Good-Day-Or-Not is about to hit. Higher ground? Not a chance. You just have to keep your head above water til the high winds slow down at least enough for you to grab onto something floating by--like a Newcastle, a glass of Crown and Coke (easy on the coke, please), or a nice pack of Camel Filters. Then, momentarily, life is okay again.

Recently my parents decided to get a divorce. Luckily, I'm nearing 24 so I didn't have to feel that whole, "It's my fault," stuff. I knew it was neither my fault, nor my brother or sister's fault. It's life's fault. Even a seemingly happy marriage of 24 years can lose it's sparkle. It's sad, right? Yea. It's also sad that divorce has to be so nasty, so noisy, and sometimes so scary. It's even more sad to feel caught in the middle not knowing which way to go.


Every day is a new day of walking around on eggshells for me it seems. I guess I'm just thankful that to spite all of the shit-storms I still have two great parents who I love with my whole heart. And even though it's stressful and hard to deal with sometimes I know that they both love me, too.

Ain't no rest for the Wicked

This may come as a surprise to you just like it did me. Apparently, uh, I'm an ass-hole.


My friend recently told me that he thinks I am unaware of how rude I sound sometimes. He thinks I don't think before I speak. Well, you know what I think? HE'S A DUMB-ASS! And yes, I completely thought that statement through before I typed it.


The thing is, is that my brain is really great at coming up with amazingly douchy things to say, and since I don't like wasting perfectly good thoughts-- I say them. Truthfully, I would not even make the douchy remarks if my ears were not offended by other people's constant stupidity. If you tell me that you never leave your home without at least $1,000 worth of clothes on, I'm probably going to be an ass-hole. If you tell me, with your most serious face on, that you would probably be nicer to me if I weren't so hot, I am probably going to ruin your world with my words. It's what I do. It's who I am.

Your stupidity warrants my being an ass-hole. Remember that always.