I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
Then again, that might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
And now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around, oh no
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yeah, I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
Oh, but I can tell you exactly how it will end
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you will find
Well, I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I am still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have any other way
Oh, but I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same (every day)
Every day is exactly the same (there is no pain)
There is no love here, and there is no pain (every day)
Every day is exactly the same (every day is the same)
Video
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Use Somebody - KoL
Considering the fact that I'm clearly underrepresented on this site of which half is to be mine, I figured I should come back and spew some words.
Update. I no longer get the privilege of sitting around college campuses midwest-wide to get smashed and go on adventures. A while ago I dropped of the face of my social radar and procured a job. I'm still in the process of deciding if this was a good idea or not.
I no longer live in the midwest, a goal I'd hoped to achieve for a while. I am in a place that's nice all the time, but I happen to be mostly surrounded by people with even less social aptitude than I in a community that old people go to before they die. With only three decent bars to go to, my ideas for fun are rapidly declining. Never did I think I would miss the midwest as much as I currently do- apparently a haven for drunken bitterness is created when winter blasts the shit out of your bones for a while and leaves nothing but a craving for beer and scotch.
I haven't really had any life changing events occur unlike my compatriot. I do think that I'm slowly losing the ability to feel strongly about anything in particular though, a thought that might concern me if again, I really cared about it. One of the problems of becoming a too big of a picture person.
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust."
Not quite that extreme, but I use any opportunity to quote that movie.
Well fuck, let's get out of my boring updates and melancholy observations eh?
-Jameson
Update. I no longer get the privilege of sitting around college campuses midwest-wide to get smashed and go on adventures. A while ago I dropped of the face of my social radar and procured a job. I'm still in the process of deciding if this was a good idea or not.
I no longer live in the midwest, a goal I'd hoped to achieve for a while. I am in a place that's nice all the time, but I happen to be mostly surrounded by people with even less social aptitude than I in a community that old people go to before they die. With only three decent bars to go to, my ideas for fun are rapidly declining. Never did I think I would miss the midwest as much as I currently do- apparently a haven for drunken bitterness is created when winter blasts the shit out of your bones for a while and leaves nothing but a craving for beer and scotch.
I haven't really had any life changing events occur unlike my compatriot. I do think that I'm slowly losing the ability to feel strongly about anything in particular though, a thought that might concern me if again, I really cared about it. One of the problems of becoming a too big of a picture person.
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust."
Not quite that extreme, but I use any opportunity to quote that movie.
Well fuck, let's get out of my boring updates and melancholy observations eh?
-Jameson
difficulty, destruction, and other precious moments...
Let me begin this by saying FUCK.
Ah, that's better.
Life. What a stupid word. I mean, I'm glad that I have one (of sorts). And no, I don't want to end mine, but seriously. It's a stupid fucking broad ass word, and right now I hate it.
Life is like a ridiculously hard math equation (and let's be honest here-- math is not my strong point) with squared numbers and pie. I thought I had the problem half way worked out, but when numbers just randomly disappear from the equation you have to completely reconstruct the entire thing and start over. And dammit, I can't find my fucking calculator.
I'm confusing myself. I'll start over.
I had a boyfriend. He's gone now. He was about as yummy as Someone Else's half eaten taco, but I still kind of like loved him and shit. Gay, I know. I just thought that he was the one for me, you know? The stupid dating games had ended, and I was finally going to have my dumb-ass happily ever after. I was ready for that. Now, he's probably off nursing a bottle jagermeister, smoking a joint, and crying cause he lost the hottest girl he will ever get. I'm just now starting to realize that hot and ugly do not go together. Hot and hot go together. I very well could have had ugly kids, you guys. So, I guess it's OK that he went away. I have to preserve my hot genes for someone with equal or better hot genes. No more Skinny genes, though. I am so over those.
Lately it just seems like I wander through one shit-storm after another. I keep putting my happiness aside for this or that, and dammit I'm done. I'm 23 and still feel 12. I feel a lack of control over my own life. I feel like I can't be happy until everyone else around me is giving me a standing ovation and saying, "God Job, Brit. Now we are proud of you!"
Have you ever forgotten that you are the ultimate decision maker in your own life? I feel like I have given a piece of control to everyone in my life, and I have left myself with zero. So, sorry guys, but I am going to be an Indian-Giver and take it all back. I think I will be a lot happier if I don't feel like I have a OU Football Stadium worth of people watching me to see if I am going to GO! ALL! THE! WAY! or not. I hate feeling like I am letting people down. It's like the worst feeling ever (next to getting flicked in the balls, probably).
So that was difficulty and destruction. Here are some other precious moments:
1. I went on a "date" and had to leave the bar we were hanging out in so he could take a poop in the privacy of his own home. I was confused as hell because who doesn't get all the poop out before the date? If I was a privacy-only-pooper I would probably try to save myself from the humiliation of having to leave the public place with my date to take a deuce. That's just me. Unless that was his way of insuring that he would never have to see me again. If that was the case then kudos, Man. Mad props for going to that embarrassing level.
2. I had a social gathering in the comfort of my own bedroom. I didn't know it was going to come to that, but it was pretty entertaining. I actually watched 3 semi-hot guys lose all attractiveness by drinking a bag of wine (formerly a box) like it was gold, chocolate, and a boob all at once. It was that intense. I eventually had to ask for I.D.s because they were acting like it was some sweet nectar of the Gods that had never before been graced upon their tongue. It was called Delicious Red but ,JESUS, it wasn't that great.
Well, I guess this is going to have to wrap it up for this time. I will add more later.
Peace.
Ah, that's better.
Life. What a stupid word. I mean, I'm glad that I have one (of sorts). And no, I don't want to end mine, but seriously. It's a stupid fucking broad ass word, and right now I hate it.
Life is like a ridiculously hard math equation (and let's be honest here-- math is not my strong point) with squared numbers and pie. I thought I had the problem half way worked out, but when numbers just randomly disappear from the equation you have to completely reconstruct the entire thing and start over. And dammit, I can't find my fucking calculator.
I'm confusing myself. I'll start over.
I had a boyfriend. He's gone now. He was about as yummy as Someone Else's half eaten taco, but I still kind of like loved him and shit. Gay, I know. I just thought that he was the one for me, you know? The stupid dating games had ended, and I was finally going to have my dumb-ass happily ever after. I was ready for that. Now, he's probably off nursing a bottle jagermeister, smoking a joint, and crying cause he lost the hottest girl he will ever get. I'm just now starting to realize that hot and ugly do not go together. Hot and hot go together. I very well could have had ugly kids, you guys. So, I guess it's OK that he went away. I have to preserve my hot genes for someone with equal or better hot genes. No more Skinny genes, though. I am so over those.
Lately it just seems like I wander through one shit-storm after another. I keep putting my happiness aside for this or that, and dammit I'm done. I'm 23 and still feel 12. I feel a lack of control over my own life. I feel like I can't be happy until everyone else around me is giving me a standing ovation and saying, "God Job, Brit. Now we are proud of you!"
Have you ever forgotten that you are the ultimate decision maker in your own life? I feel like I have given a piece of control to everyone in my life, and I have left myself with zero. So, sorry guys, but I am going to be an Indian-Giver and take it all back. I think I will be a lot happier if I don't feel like I have a OU Football Stadium worth of people watching me to see if I am going to GO! ALL! THE! WAY! or not. I hate feeling like I am letting people down. It's like the worst feeling ever (next to getting flicked in the balls, probably).
So that was difficulty and destruction. Here are some other precious moments:
1. I went on a "date" and had to leave the bar we were hanging out in so he could take a poop in the privacy of his own home. I was confused as hell because who doesn't get all the poop out before the date? If I was a privacy-only-pooper I would probably try to save myself from the humiliation of having to leave the public place with my date to take a deuce. That's just me. Unless that was his way of insuring that he would never have to see me again. If that was the case then kudos, Man. Mad props for going to that embarrassing level.
2. I had a social gathering in the comfort of my own bedroom. I didn't know it was going to come to that, but it was pretty entertaining. I actually watched 3 semi-hot guys lose all attractiveness by drinking a bag of wine (formerly a box) like it was gold, chocolate, and a boob all at once. It was that intense. I eventually had to ask for I.D.s because they were acting like it was some sweet nectar of the Gods that had never before been graced upon their tongue. It was called Delicious Red but ,JESUS, it wasn't that great.
Well, I guess this is going to have to wrap it up for this time. I will add more later.
Peace.
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