The Ear Slaughter

What is music?

To me music is inspiring, enlightening, beautiful, and sincere. To me music is insight into another person's imagination. For a few minutes you get to listen to someones heartache, happiness, confusion, etc. I guess what I am trying to say is that music is an outlet for the musicians and the crowd.

This outlet, however, has been abused. Now, this is only my opinion and if you don't like it-- sorry, Kitty Cat.

I recently went and saw some of my friends play at a little venue called Bora Bora. It's a shitty little place that I'm pretty damn sure was a strip club in it's past life. It had mirrors every where and smelled of dingy dollar bills and nasty stripper thongs. Or maybe that was the smell of the horrible music being played inside those four walls.

So, I walk in and the very first thing I see is some guy with with no shirt screaming profanities into a microphone and piercing himself. I am pretty certain that the crap he was piercing himself with was not sterile, and that's dangerous. Not that I give a shit if he has a face infection now because his music was God awful. I'm not naive. I know that there are people who are into that kind of music and that's fine with me. To each his own. But come the fuck on. No one could understand what the hell he was saying. He was halfway prancing around on stage like the Fairy of Screamo and shoving metal through his cheeks and throat between each "song."

I had to drink quite a few Crown and Cokes to get through the horrible line-up of bands that night. My friends should be grateful that I had the patience of a pre-school teacher to stay and wait for them to play. Maybe it was the buzz. Maybe these bands were like a train wreck and I couldn't look away. Whatever. That's neither here nor there.

The only people having a good time were four or five fat emo kids running around in circles acting like they were going to start moshing and an emo princess rocking back and forth like the music was sent directly to her via Satan himself. She had to be a girlfriend and under the influence of some sort of hallucinogens to think that music was worth doing the sway-back-and-forth-in-a-trance-of-the-music dance.

Now, I'm all about friends getting together and playing their instruments and having a good time, but I'm also convinced that you know whether or not you sound worthy enough of a stage and a crowd.

So, children, while you're jammin with your buds and you get that little feeling in your gut that says, "Man, this is so much fun, but I'm really wasted everytime I play so maybe it doesn't sound that great to everyone else," don't book a show. Just don't do it. I don't care how many times your wasty-faced friends tell you that you were, "So fucking AWESOME, Dude!"

Don't freaking do it. I'm serious.