I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
Then again, that might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
And now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around, oh no
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yeah, I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
Oh, but I can tell you exactly how it will end
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you will find
Well, I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I am still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have any other way
Oh, but I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same (every day)
Every day is exactly the same (there is no pain)
There is no love here, and there is no pain (every day)
Every day is exactly the same (every day is the same)
Video
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Use Somebody - KoL
Considering the fact that I'm clearly underrepresented on this site of which half is to be mine, I figured I should come back and spew some words.
Update. I no longer get the privilege of sitting around college campuses midwest-wide to get smashed and go on adventures. A while ago I dropped of the face of my social radar and procured a job. I'm still in the process of deciding if this was a good idea or not.
I no longer live in the midwest, a goal I'd hoped to achieve for a while. I am in a place that's nice all the time, but I happen to be mostly surrounded by people with even less social aptitude than I in a community that old people go to before they die. With only three decent bars to go to, my ideas for fun are rapidly declining. Never did I think I would miss the midwest as much as I currently do- apparently a haven for drunken bitterness is created when winter blasts the shit out of your bones for a while and leaves nothing but a craving for beer and scotch.
I haven't really had any life changing events occur unlike my compatriot. I do think that I'm slowly losing the ability to feel strongly about anything in particular though, a thought that might concern me if again, I really cared about it. One of the problems of becoming a too big of a picture person.
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust."
Not quite that extreme, but I use any opportunity to quote that movie.
Well fuck, let's get out of my boring updates and melancholy observations eh?
-Jameson
Update. I no longer get the privilege of sitting around college campuses midwest-wide to get smashed and go on adventures. A while ago I dropped of the face of my social radar and procured a job. I'm still in the process of deciding if this was a good idea or not.
I no longer live in the midwest, a goal I'd hoped to achieve for a while. I am in a place that's nice all the time, but I happen to be mostly surrounded by people with even less social aptitude than I in a community that old people go to before they die. With only three decent bars to go to, my ideas for fun are rapidly declining. Never did I think I would miss the midwest as much as I currently do- apparently a haven for drunken bitterness is created when winter blasts the shit out of your bones for a while and leaves nothing but a craving for beer and scotch.
I haven't really had any life changing events occur unlike my compatriot. I do think that I'm slowly losing the ability to feel strongly about anything in particular though, a thought that might concern me if again, I really cared about it. One of the problems of becoming a too big of a picture person.
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust."
Not quite that extreme, but I use any opportunity to quote that movie.
Well fuck, let's get out of my boring updates and melancholy observations eh?
-Jameson
difficulty, destruction, and other precious moments...
Let me begin this by saying FUCK.
Ah, that's better.
Life. What a stupid word. I mean, I'm glad that I have one (of sorts). And no, I don't want to end mine, but seriously. It's a stupid fucking broad ass word, and right now I hate it.
Life is like a ridiculously hard math equation (and let's be honest here-- math is not my strong point) with squared numbers and pie. I thought I had the problem half way worked out, but when numbers just randomly disappear from the equation you have to completely reconstruct the entire thing and start over. And dammit, I can't find my fucking calculator.
I'm confusing myself. I'll start over.
I had a boyfriend. He's gone now. He was about as yummy as Someone Else's half eaten taco, but I still kind of like loved him and shit. Gay, I know. I just thought that he was the one for me, you know? The stupid dating games had ended, and I was finally going to have my dumb-ass happily ever after. I was ready for that. Now, he's probably off nursing a bottle jagermeister, smoking a joint, and crying cause he lost the hottest girl he will ever get. I'm just now starting to realize that hot and ugly do not go together. Hot and hot go together. I very well could have had ugly kids, you guys. So, I guess it's OK that he went away. I have to preserve my hot genes for someone with equal or better hot genes. No more Skinny genes, though. I am so over those.
Lately it just seems like I wander through one shit-storm after another. I keep putting my happiness aside for this or that, and dammit I'm done. I'm 23 and still feel 12. I feel a lack of control over my own life. I feel like I can't be happy until everyone else around me is giving me a standing ovation and saying, "God Job, Brit. Now we are proud of you!"
Have you ever forgotten that you are the ultimate decision maker in your own life? I feel like I have given a piece of control to everyone in my life, and I have left myself with zero. So, sorry guys, but I am going to be an Indian-Giver and take it all back. I think I will be a lot happier if I don't feel like I have a OU Football Stadium worth of people watching me to see if I am going to GO! ALL! THE! WAY! or not. I hate feeling like I am letting people down. It's like the worst feeling ever (next to getting flicked in the balls, probably).
So that was difficulty and destruction. Here are some other precious moments:
1. I went on a "date" and had to leave the bar we were hanging out in so he could take a poop in the privacy of his own home. I was confused as hell because who doesn't get all the poop out before the date? If I was a privacy-only-pooper I would probably try to save myself from the humiliation of having to leave the public place with my date to take a deuce. That's just me. Unless that was his way of insuring that he would never have to see me again. If that was the case then kudos, Man. Mad props for going to that embarrassing level.
2. I had a social gathering in the comfort of my own bedroom. I didn't know it was going to come to that, but it was pretty entertaining. I actually watched 3 semi-hot guys lose all attractiveness by drinking a bag of wine (formerly a box) like it was gold, chocolate, and a boob all at once. It was that intense. I eventually had to ask for I.D.s because they were acting like it was some sweet nectar of the Gods that had never before been graced upon their tongue. It was called Delicious Red but ,JESUS, it wasn't that great.
Well, I guess this is going to have to wrap it up for this time. I will add more later.
Peace.
Ah, that's better.
Life. What a stupid word. I mean, I'm glad that I have one (of sorts). And no, I don't want to end mine, but seriously. It's a stupid fucking broad ass word, and right now I hate it.
Life is like a ridiculously hard math equation (and let's be honest here-- math is not my strong point) with squared numbers and pie. I thought I had the problem half way worked out, but when numbers just randomly disappear from the equation you have to completely reconstruct the entire thing and start over. And dammit, I can't find my fucking calculator.
I'm confusing myself. I'll start over.
I had a boyfriend. He's gone now. He was about as yummy as Someone Else's half eaten taco, but I still kind of like loved him and shit. Gay, I know. I just thought that he was the one for me, you know? The stupid dating games had ended, and I was finally going to have my dumb-ass happily ever after. I was ready for that. Now, he's probably off nursing a bottle jagermeister, smoking a joint, and crying cause he lost the hottest girl he will ever get. I'm just now starting to realize that hot and ugly do not go together. Hot and hot go together. I very well could have had ugly kids, you guys. So, I guess it's OK that he went away. I have to preserve my hot genes for someone with equal or better hot genes. No more Skinny genes, though. I am so over those.
Lately it just seems like I wander through one shit-storm after another. I keep putting my happiness aside for this or that, and dammit I'm done. I'm 23 and still feel 12. I feel a lack of control over my own life. I feel like I can't be happy until everyone else around me is giving me a standing ovation and saying, "God Job, Brit. Now we are proud of you!"
Have you ever forgotten that you are the ultimate decision maker in your own life? I feel like I have given a piece of control to everyone in my life, and I have left myself with zero. So, sorry guys, but I am going to be an Indian-Giver and take it all back. I think I will be a lot happier if I don't feel like I have a OU Football Stadium worth of people watching me to see if I am going to GO! ALL! THE! WAY! or not. I hate feeling like I am letting people down. It's like the worst feeling ever (next to getting flicked in the balls, probably).
So that was difficulty and destruction. Here are some other precious moments:
1. I went on a "date" and had to leave the bar we were hanging out in so he could take a poop in the privacy of his own home. I was confused as hell because who doesn't get all the poop out before the date? If I was a privacy-only-pooper I would probably try to save myself from the humiliation of having to leave the public place with my date to take a deuce. That's just me. Unless that was his way of insuring that he would never have to see me again. If that was the case then kudos, Man. Mad props for going to that embarrassing level.
2. I had a social gathering in the comfort of my own bedroom. I didn't know it was going to come to that, but it was pretty entertaining. I actually watched 3 semi-hot guys lose all attractiveness by drinking a bag of wine (formerly a box) like it was gold, chocolate, and a boob all at once. It was that intense. I eventually had to ask for I.D.s because they were acting like it was some sweet nectar of the Gods that had never before been graced upon their tongue. It was called Delicious Red but ,JESUS, it wasn't that great.
Well, I guess this is going to have to wrap it up for this time. I will add more later.
Peace.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Here are some things that I didn't enjoy today:
1. The rain. It's been raining a lot lately. The rain puts a damper on my day(yes, pun intended). The thing I don't like about rain is that it makes me sleepy and less productive than usual. I spent a large portion of my day watching the Discovery Channel. Don't get me wrong--I like the Discovery Channel, but I can only watch so much of the Deadliest Catch. What a scary job those crab fisherman(is it really fishing, or is it crabbing?) have. I, for one, hate the cold. Oh, and crabs are only great when they're dead. When they're alive they are scary as hell.
2. My hair falling out. I mean, I don't know if it's really falling out, or if it's just getting so long that it seems like more is coming out. I just know that it is really freaking me out. My dad told me that I should get some Rogain for women. I don't know if that was a joke or not. You can't really tell when he's joking. When I was little, I really believed that his "favorite kids" lived in the attic. My little sister also believed him when he told her that he wasn't her dad, but "the other man" was. That didn't go over so well when my little sister told our Grandmother that. Oh, Dad, you really should learn to use facial expressions when you're joking.
3. Britney Spears. I know this one is totally random, but I watched the VMAs today. She won like three awards that she didn't even deserve. Each time she accepted her award she thanked God, her beautiful family(that apparently inspire her everyday--yea, to drink!), and the people. That's nice, right? No. She talked much like a robot, and she had a blank look on her face the entire time. Now that I think about it she was probably on medication 'cause she's friggin' crazier than a loon. Even then couldn't she have at least pretended like she was happy? Maybe she is just a robot. Maybe science has created human-like robots, but they haven't mastered facial expression yet. Maybe in addition to thanking God, her beautiful family, and the people, she should have thanked science and her Dr. as well. Maybe I just made a discovery that I shouldn't have and the C.I.A. is going to come zap my memory of the VMAs away like in Men In Black. SWEET!!
2. My hair falling out. I mean, I don't know if it's really falling out, or if it's just getting so long that it seems like more is coming out. I just know that it is really freaking me out. My dad told me that I should get some Rogain for women. I don't know if that was a joke or not. You can't really tell when he's joking. When I was little, I really believed that his "favorite kids" lived in the attic. My little sister also believed him when he told her that he wasn't her dad, but "the other man" was. That didn't go over so well when my little sister told our Grandmother that. Oh, Dad, you really should learn to use facial expressions when you're joking.
3. Britney Spears. I know this one is totally random, but I watched the VMAs today. She won like three awards that she didn't even deserve. Each time she accepted her award she thanked God, her beautiful family(that apparently inspire her everyday--yea, to drink!), and the people. That's nice, right? No. She talked much like a robot, and she had a blank look on her face the entire time. Now that I think about it she was probably on medication 'cause she's friggin' crazier than a loon. Even then couldn't she have at least pretended like she was happy? Maybe she is just a robot. Maybe science has created human-like robots, but they haven't mastered facial expression yet. Maybe in addition to thanking God, her beautiful family, and the people, she should have thanked science and her Dr. as well. Maybe I just made a discovery that I shouldn't have and the C.I.A. is going to come zap my memory of the VMAs away like in Men In Black. SWEET!!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Relationships have never been my forte. The one thing that I am confident about when it comes to relationships is ending them. All of the in between hullabaloo is completely confusing and very annoying. For instance, I am not used to having to be considerate of the opposite sex’s feelings. I’m also not used to being told I’m wrong. These are two things that are taking a very long time to get used to.
I have been in a relationship for –oh- about a year and three months. Please don’t hold me to that. I’m not all about the, “Hey baby, how are we going to celebrate our 2 month anniversary?” bull. I can not honestly tell you when we started dating. I just know that it was roughly a year and three months ago or thereabouts. What ever. Anyhow, we’ve been together for however long and things are just now starting to get a little rocky.
I’m going to be completely honest and say that some of it is my fault; however, I don’t like hearing that. When I am told it’s my fault, it hurts my feelings and makes me throw things (inanimate objects—nothing important). It’s childish, and I realize this, but I like the chance to decide whether it’s my fault or not. Don’t judge me. I will also say that I can be a little demanding at times. I think we are all guilty of that. Probably not as much as me but still—GUILTY! Do I want to be told that? No. I would have realized it eventually. Maybe.
My boyfriend doesn’t like it when I tell him that I don’t like what he is wearing. Now, I’m sure that most men would agree with him on that one, but I’m sorry that I want him to take pride in how he looks. And those jeans were horrendous. I don’t think I’m demanding just because I told him to change them. I’m also not demanding just because I told him to blow dry his hair a little, or because I told him to put some wax in it. It’s not like I want him to change his whole style, just his hair and his jeans. Is that too much to ask?
At any rate, I guess the point of this is that relationships are even harder when you actually love the person. I mean, if I was still a serial dater…well we all know what would have happened the first time I didn’t like his jeans.
I have been in a relationship for –oh- about a year and three months. Please don’t hold me to that. I’m not all about the, “Hey baby, how are we going to celebrate our 2 month anniversary?” bull. I can not honestly tell you when we started dating. I just know that it was roughly a year and three months ago or thereabouts. What ever. Anyhow, we’ve been together for however long and things are just now starting to get a little rocky.
I’m going to be completely honest and say that some of it is my fault; however, I don’t like hearing that. When I am told it’s my fault, it hurts my feelings and makes me throw things (inanimate objects—nothing important). It’s childish, and I realize this, but I like the chance to decide whether it’s my fault or not. Don’t judge me. I will also say that I can be a little demanding at times. I think we are all guilty of that. Probably not as much as me but still—GUILTY! Do I want to be told that? No. I would have realized it eventually. Maybe.
My boyfriend doesn’t like it when I tell him that I don’t like what he is wearing. Now, I’m sure that most men would agree with him on that one, but I’m sorry that I want him to take pride in how he looks. And those jeans were horrendous. I don’t think I’m demanding just because I told him to change them. I’m also not demanding just because I told him to blow dry his hair a little, or because I told him to put some wax in it. It’s not like I want him to change his whole style, just his hair and his jeans. Is that too much to ask?
At any rate, I guess the point of this is that relationships are even harder when you actually love the person. I mean, if I was still a serial dater…well we all know what would have happened the first time I didn’t like his jeans.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Dolly?
How can you name a hurricane Dolly? Was there a magazine article in Cosmo that some gay guy took to heart on The 10 Ways to Brighten Up a Tragedy This Summer?
Does the hurricane pose a threat or not? Because the only doll I can think of that poses any threat at all is Chucky, in which case, they should have just named it that. Oh, and that creepy doll that stays in one of my grandma's rooms may pose a threat, too, but only because (and this might be true) it seems like if you stare at it long enough it might turn it's head and look at you all creepy like. And then stab you in the heart with it's pointy doll finger.
Are we running out of names for Hurricanes? They have a book at Barnes and Noble called 500,000 Names. It even tells you what the name means so you can pick something scary like Satan or Dracula! I mean, if you need help and they don't have to be taken seriously I can totally help you out. The next 5 hurricane names should be:
"Look, Dan! Get the video camera! Dolly is coming! Dolly is coming! Helloooo dolly!" And then all you hear on the camera after that is, "Oh crap. Oh man! Dan! (gasp) Dan! I can't (gasp) swim! This dolly (gasp) is not like the ones (gasp) I had as a kid! Did a mean 4 (gasp) yr old shave her (gasp) head? Cause (gasp) she's angry!"
- Name a hurricane something fresh and pretty! It will brighten your mood even when the strong winds come-a-knockin'. And ladies, don't for get to use an umbrella. Those winds sure can be harsh on your skin and hair! I recommend and Umbrella with a fresh and pretty floral design.
- Unplanned pregnancy? Don't worry! Name it something fresh and pretty. It will brighten up your mood even when you feel like dying while pushing it out! Don't forget your umbrella!
Does the hurricane pose a threat or not? Because the only doll I can think of that poses any threat at all is Chucky, in which case, they should have just named it that. Oh, and that creepy doll that stays in one of my grandma's rooms may pose a threat, too, but only because (and this might be true) it seems like if you stare at it long enough it might turn it's head and look at you all creepy like. And then stab you in the heart with it's pointy doll finger.
Are we running out of names for Hurricanes? They have a book at Barnes and Noble called 500,000 Names. It even tells you what the name means so you can pick something scary like Satan or Dracula! I mean, if you need help and they don't have to be taken seriously I can totally help you out. The next 5 hurricane names should be:
- Batman ( "Batman is wreaking havoc on New Orleans like it's Joker!")
- Alphabet Soup ("This hurricane is spelling disaster all over Florida!")
- Bunny ("It's just hoppin' from place to place!")
- Doodle ("It's doodled here-It's doodled there.")
- Crap ("Don't step in Crap's way. It'll ruin your day!")
"Look, Dan! Get the video camera! Dolly is coming! Dolly is coming! Helloooo dolly!" And then all you hear on the camera after that is, "Oh crap. Oh man! Dan! (gasp) Dan! I can't (gasp) swim! This dolly (gasp) is not like the ones (gasp) I had as a kid! Did a mean 4 (gasp) yr old shave her (gasp) head? Cause (gasp) she's angry!"
Miley Cyrus = Big Mac
Earlier today I happened to be taking a nap in a chair. In between bouts of consciousness, I realized that TRL was on. Now I have quite a few problems with MTV's "musical televison" and more specifically TRL (the fact that they don't play entire videos, and the fact that it's basically just a vessel to stroke celebrity egos), but today my issue was a bit more specific.
I have only recently encountered this whole Miley Cyrus phenomenon, and it's confusing. Apparently the Disney channel decided that it wanted to take a marginally talented, underage jailbait girl, who happens to be the daughter of one hit wonder BILLY RAY (insert string of "whooo boy", "yeeeehaw", "honketonk", "achy breaky whatever" here) and develop a whole marketing juggernaut around her. Not only does she have a TV show, but they decided to market her as a 'musician', because why the fuck not?
I have a problem with a gigantic corporation methodically producing bland, uninspiring, cliche music to shove down our throats via corporate radio in general. But whatever.
The more specific thing I noticed while watching TRL was the fact that they were having a contest to determine the "biggest Miley fan." Whoever this magical person was, they got a t-shirt or something, and the satisfaction of knowing that they are basically devoting their lives to a 15 year old girl who isn't even that talented. It's like worshiping the movie "Boondock Saints." Yea, it's entertaining and all, but is it really worth obsessing over? No.
I was treated to quite the parade of the pathetic though. The first person was a guy (much to my surprise) who had taken a picture of himself on prom with a standup of Miley. I laughed, since he definitely went to prom by himself, and then became concerned, since the level of sadness that it takes to purchase a Miley Cyrus standup and then pose with it on prom is a level that I can't comprehend. Enjoy your basement sir.
The next three were a few girls, one who owned a skirt that matched Mileys (big deal), a girl who declared the Hannah Montana cd her favorite ever (which is just fucked up, considering the amount of actually talented artists out there), and some other girl who I can't remember anything about. Maybe she had a coaster or something. Who cares.
Outside was an even bigger group of girls of varying ages, all screaming their heads off about this person. I just can't understand what the big deal is at all. These people aren't worshiping an actual talent, all they do is worship the product of a team of marketers, producers, and other corporate backers. It's worshiping the Big Mac, but a Big Mac with an album.
My solution was to take the group of people that show up for TRL, tell them they get to "go backstage and meet ______", and load them on a barge,and ship them to another continent such as South America. I'm pretty confident that those people,with their level of intelligence, couldn't find their way back.
I have only recently encountered this whole Miley Cyrus phenomenon, and it's confusing. Apparently the Disney channel decided that it wanted to take a marginally talented, underage jailbait girl, who happens to be the daughter of one hit wonder BILLY RAY (insert string of "whooo boy", "yeeeehaw", "honketonk", "achy breaky whatever" here) and develop a whole marketing juggernaut around her. Not only does she have a TV show, but they decided to market her as a 'musician', because why the fuck not?
I have a problem with a gigantic corporation methodically producing bland, uninspiring, cliche music to shove down our throats via corporate radio in general. But whatever.
The more specific thing I noticed while watching TRL was the fact that they were having a contest to determine the "biggest Miley fan." Whoever this magical person was, they got a t-shirt or something, and the satisfaction of knowing that they are basically devoting their lives to a 15 year old girl who isn't even that talented. It's like worshiping the movie "Boondock Saints." Yea, it's entertaining and all, but is it really worth obsessing over? No.
I was treated to quite the parade of the pathetic though. The first person was a guy (much to my surprise) who had taken a picture of himself on prom with a standup of Miley. I laughed, since he definitely went to prom by himself, and then became concerned, since the level of sadness that it takes to purchase a Miley Cyrus standup and then pose with it on prom is a level that I can't comprehend. Enjoy your basement sir.
The next three were a few girls, one who owned a skirt that matched Mileys (big deal), a girl who declared the Hannah Montana cd her favorite ever (which is just fucked up, considering the amount of actually talented artists out there), and some other girl who I can't remember anything about. Maybe she had a coaster or something. Who cares.
Outside was an even bigger group of girls of varying ages, all screaming their heads off about this person. I just can't understand what the big deal is at all. These people aren't worshiping an actual talent, all they do is worship the product of a team of marketers, producers, and other corporate backers. It's worshiping the Big Mac, but a Big Mac with an album.
My solution was to take the group of people that show up for TRL, tell them they get to "go backstage and meet ______", and load them on a barge,and ship them to another continent such as South America. I'm pretty confident that those people,with their level of intelligence, couldn't find their way back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
