Dolly?

How can you name a hurricane Dolly? Was there a magazine article in Cosmo that some gay guy took to heart on The 10 Ways to Brighten Up a Tragedy This Summer?

1. Name a hurricane something fresh and pretty! It will brighten your mood even when the strong winds come-a-knockin'. And ladies, don't for get to use an umbrella. Those winds sure can be harsh on your skin and hair! I recommend and Umbrella with a fresh and pretty floral design.
   
2. Unplanned pregnancy? Don't worry! Name it something fresh and pretty. It will brighten up your mood even when you feel like dying while pushing it out! Don't forget your umbrella!
   

Does the hurricane pose a threat or not? Because the only doll I can think of that poses any threat at all is Chucky, in which case, they should have just named it that. Oh, and that creepy doll that stays in one of my grandma's rooms may pose a threat, too, but only because (and this might be true) it seems like if you stare at it long enough it might turn it's head and look at you all creepy like. And then stab you in the heart with it's pointy doll finger.

Are we running out of names for Hurricanes? They have a book at Barnes and Noble called 500,000 Names. It even tells you what the name means so you can pick something scary like Satan or Dracula! I mean, if you need help and they don't have to be taken seriously I can totally help you out. The next 5 hurricane names should be:

• Batman ( "Batman is wreaking havoc on New Orleans like it's Joker!")
• Alphabet Soup ("This hurricane is spelling disaster all over Florida!")
  
• Bunny ("It's just hoppin' from place to place!")
• Doodle ("It's doodled here-It's doodled there.")
• Crap ("Don't step in Crap's way. It'll ruin your day!")

Hell, it's better than Dolly--"Helloooo Dolly!" What the crap? Like were supposed to be excited about a massive storm that has been known to wipe out entire cities!

"Look, Dan! Get the video camera! Dolly is coming! Dolly is coming! Helloooo dolly!" And then all you hear on the camera after that is, "Oh crap. Oh man! Dan! (gasp) Dan! I can't (gasp) swim! This dolly (gasp) is not like the ones (gasp) I had as a kid! Did a mean 4 (gasp) yr old shave her (gasp) head? Cause (gasp) she's angry!"