The Ear Slaughter

What is music?

To me music is inspiring, enlightening, beautiful, and sincere. To me music is insight into another person's imagination. For a few minutes you get to listen to someones heartache, happiness, confusion, etc. I guess what I am trying to say is that music is an outlet for the musicians and the crowd.

This outlet, however, has been abused. Now, this is only my opinion and if you don't like it-- sorry, Kitty Cat.

I recently went and saw some of my friends play at a little venue called Bora Bora. It's a shitty little place that I'm pretty damn sure was a strip club in it's past life. It had mirrors every where and smelled of dingy dollar bills and nasty stripper thongs. Or maybe that was the smell of the horrible music being played inside those four walls.

So, I walk in and the very first thing I see is some guy with with no shirt screaming profanities into a microphone and piercing himself. I am pretty certain that the crap he was piercing himself with was not sterile, and that's dangerous. Not that I give a shit if he has a face infection now because his music was God awful. I'm not naive. I know that there are people who are into that kind of music and that's fine with me. To each his own. But come the fuck on. No one could understand what the hell he was saying. He was halfway prancing around on stage like the Fairy of Screamo and shoving metal through his cheeks and throat between each "song."

I had to drink quite a few Crown and Cokes to get through the horrible line-up of bands that night. My friends should be grateful that I had the patience of a pre-school teacher to stay and wait for them to play. Maybe it was the buzz. Maybe these bands were like a train wreck and I couldn't look away. Whatever. That's neither here nor there.

The only people having a good time were four or five fat emo kids running around in circles acting like they were going to start moshing and an emo princess rocking back and forth like the music was sent directly to her via Satan himself. She had to be a girlfriend and under the influence of some sort of hallucinogens to think that music was worth doing the sway-back-and-forth-in-a-trance-of-the-music dance.

Now, I'm all about friends getting together and playing their instruments and having a good time, but I'm also convinced that you know whether or not you sound worthy enough of a stage and a crowd.

So, children, while you're jammin with your buds and you get that little feeling in your gut that says, "Man, this is so much fun, but I'm really wasted everytime I play so maybe it doesn't sound that great to everyone else," don't book a show. Just don't do it. I don't care how many times your wasty-faced friends tell you that you were, "So fucking AWESOME, Dude!"

Don't freaking do it. I'm serious.

So-Co and Lime

"The HiLo is the only bar I have had the.... uh.... pleasure of seeing a naked man drinking at the bar next to a drag queen, a black cowboy, and a 40 year old woman with a mo-hawk." -- an acquaintance from the HiLo

I met Mom and Tona for a drink the other night. It isn't something that happens often, but I would like for it to happen again soon. Hanging out with Mom when she's had a couple drinks is a real ego-booster. While introducing me to people as her daughter, of course, she let each person know how hilarious I am. I don't think these people were too concerned with my personality as I was in a dress from Express that was...well...fitted. The short black dress was embellished with sparkles, as I was in a sparkle kind of mood that night. I haven't been out much lately, OK? It was an occasion of sorts.

The HiLo really is a special little place. You truly never know who you are going to run into. The bar is in OKC on Classen near Edna's, Drunken Fry, and the Speakeasy. It's a dark little hole in the wall that tends to get really packed on the weekends. If you haven't met the people who frequent there at least 20 or so times, they will not remember your name. I'm sure it has something to do with the insane amounts of alcohol consumed there, but I get to feel like the belle of the ball each and every time I step foot in the bar -- at least until they start to remember who I am and then I'm sure I will be known as "That smart mouthed girl that claims Tona is her Aunt".

It's easy to name drop Tona's name in the HiLo because sometimes she cocktails on Friday nights. It cuts out a lot of the get-to-know-you process that frankly sometimes bores the hell out of me. I can cut right into the part where I'm awesome. Using Tona as a name-drop is like an insta-friend button. I love it. One day, you will all be able to say my name and everyone will be like, "YEAH. She's so great. You must be great, too!" and you'll be like, "Yeah! You are totally right!"

And then you'll go out into the parking lot at closing time and puke because shots fly around that bar like its December 21,2012 already.

A few pointers in going to the HiLo:

1. Expect the unexpected.
2. Someone will probably cry on your shoulder.
3. Someone will end up buying you a shot. It will be strong.
4. People will strike up random conversations with you in line to get a drink.
5. On Friday nights the drag queens with call you out.
6. Expect homosexuals. They are there. They are sweet hearts.
7. Put your dance pants on. It can get crazy.
8. Expect to hear the word, "Titties," yelled out in unison at random times.
9. Bring taxi money.
10. Don't get offended by anyone. Everyone is wasted.

Old conversations between Jameson and Me

These are HILARIOUS!
They took place in 2008. Our sense of humor may not be for everyone, but we think we're funny.

jameson: well im dry heaving now
awesome
me: dang
no bueno
guess you wouldnt want to think about drinking spit...
jameson: jesus fuck
knock it off
me: sorry
im done
jameson: no you're not.
me: i swear

....

me: im just going to go home and go to sleep so i dont have to worry about getting sad or mad
i can just dream about living on a island with people who dont suck and a lot of tequila
jameson: this island would be me, you, and a bottle of tequila.
me: bottle(s)
jameson: im just assuming its a gigantic bottle
me: oh
any limes?
jameson: lime trees

.....

me: we should co-write a book
jameson: a self help book for the rest of the population
me: yes
jameson: "step one- kill yourself"
me: i was thinking we could give them some false hope first
jameson: chapter one - read chapter two, chapter two - kill yourself
better?
me: yes
jameson: ok
me: not a very long book
we're aalready done
jameson: thats right
me: is it possible that my bosses could be reading what im typing from another computer?
cause if they can... im so getting fired
jameson: yea, but i doubt that they would have that kind of capability
you need special programs and shit
me: SCIENCE museum
jameson: i think you're ok
me: thats good
CAUSE I LOVE THIS JOB
jameson: is that sarcasm
me: no, it was just in case

....

me: for the love of ME.
and you.
jameson: thanks for including me
me: you're God part 2
jameson: bullshit, that's a demotion
there is no parts
me: shit
then we need some guidelines
jameson: like what
me: the 10 commandments
jameson: new ones?
me: yes
'cept it'll probably be the 100 commandments
jameson: yea
or just "dont do anything irritating"
me: thats not broad enough
jameson: "dont do anything"
me: impossible
you suck at being God

....

me: when do you have class?
jameson: 1240
i gotta go in like 5
me: ahh
i dont know if i will be back on today, our movies are fuckin up
i might be going home early
jameson: then i have a midterm in "myth and fairytale"
joke.
me: cute
jameson: oh well, thats a positive
me: dont forget to wear your wings
jameson: i wont
me: and your sparkles on your eyes
jameson: and my blue eyeshadow
me: and dont forget to sprinkle the ground you walk with love, wishes, and hope.
jameson: yea, thats right, i love that shit
me: was that sarcasm?
jameson: yea

Gene Kelly and Me

I have been sinking into the world of Classic Movies. I think I have an addiction. You might say I need a life-- I say I was born in the wrong time period. I should have been in movies singing and tap dancing across the big screen. I would have been sensational and Gene Kelly would have been my lover. I'm a hell of a lot prettier than Betsy Blair, Jeanne Coyne, and Patricia Ward. He would have been 'Singin' in the Rain' because of me. Spinning around on light posts because of me. Sigh. The 2000's are boring.

I, too, still exist...

What have I been up too? I know my avid readers (Mom, Jameson, Tona) are curious.
I've been working and laying pretty low. I've been going through some transitions as well. The main transition, I guess, is finding new friends and releasing the old ones back into the wild from which they seemingly came.

My former friends became less of a joy to be around and more of a chore. One in particular started to feel like a full on committed relationship, and let us not kid ourselves, right? Once I start feeling like it's a chore to be around someone I just just juke them and run in the other direction (much like a certain person's certain drunken night in OKC).

Mom keeps reassuring me that I will find the perfect friend one day. I guess she would know. She is rather blessed with some of the most fantastic friends one could have. Her friends are good at listening and sharing advice if need be. My friends bombarded me with all of their worldly problems and wondered why I never shared mine. Is it so hard to wonder when listener can't get a word in edge-wise? Ha. Rocket science.

Work has been very good to me. This holiday season was very profitable. Though, I think it's time to start looking for a 9-5 and keep the service industry at bay until the weekends. It is a perfect job for me since I get to be as social as we all know I am, it isn't boring as we all know I hate, and its decent money which we all know I need, but it isn't a life time career.

I would love to open my own bar, but with out a shit-load of money and a concept not fully together it would seem rather impossible to accomplish that feat at this time. One day. Hmm.

I would also like to take this time to congratulate our dear Jameson on his engagement. After all these years of making fun of our significant others, he's going to be stuck with one for the rest of his life and not have the pleasure of blogging about it. It will be unfortunate to not read these fantastic stories anymore, but sigh, we must all grow up eventually and make that giant leap into looking into one person's eyes for the rest of our lives-- or some years. Or something.

At least his Mother will no longer be able to question his sexuality. There is an upside to everything.

Random thought: Remember the time she thought he was in the drug business because a large amount of money disappeared from his bank account and he didn't even tell her it was because he took a trip to Oklahoma randomly? Ha. Oh to be 20 again.

I will try to update more often, but I am going to use my usual excuse, I'm not very interesting any longer. I will try very hard to make someone cry or something. Until next time, Folks!

--Brittany Jonn.

I still exist.

I would just like to remind our dear reader(s) that I in fact do still exist and am still wandering around the United States, I'm busy as hell, and without the extra time to write, but I'll try to soon.

What. In. The. Hell.

Ever had a day that was starting off so great that you said to yourself, "There is no way that this day could go bad"?

And then it did?

Just like walking into a sliding glass door when you're a little tipsy it hits you right in the face. "What in the hell," you ask yourself, "how did this even happen?"

Today was one of those days for me. A conversation with my mom went to shit in like 5 minutes. I'm not exaggerating, either. It went from constructive to, "I can't believe you just said that to me!"

Apparently, being honest with your mother is not the way to go. What the hell are you supposed to do when you want your mother to know that you think she is going about something the wrong way? You just want her to be healthy and happy. What is so wrong with that? I guess I just should have kept my mouth shut, but when have I ever done that? Wait. NEVER.

It's no secret that the past few weeks...months...(oh what the hell) years of my life have been nothing short of chaotic. Sure, things level out every once in a while, but you always know a shit-storm is in the forecast for sometime in the near future. It's never partly cloudy with a chance of drama. No. It's always take cover, Mother Fucker, Hurricane Don't-Give-A-Shit-If-You-Were-Having-A-Good-Day-Or-Not is about to hit. Higher ground? Not a chance. You just have to keep your head above water til the high winds slow down at least enough for you to grab onto something floating by--like a Newcastle, a glass of Crown and Coke (easy on the coke, please), or a nice pack of Camel Filters. Then, momentarily, life is okay again.

Recently my parents decided to get a divorce. Luckily, I'm nearing 24 so I didn't have to feel that whole, "It's my fault," stuff. I knew it was neither my fault, nor my brother or sister's fault. It's life's fault. Even a seemingly happy marriage of 24 years can lose it's sparkle. It's sad, right? Yea. It's also sad that divorce has to be so nasty, so noisy, and sometimes so scary. It's even more sad to feel caught in the middle not knowing which way to go.


Every day is a new day of walking around on eggshells for me it seems. I guess I'm just thankful that to spite all of the shit-storms I still have two great parents who I love with my whole heart. And even though it's stressful and hard to deal with sometimes I know that they both love me, too.