What have I been up too? I know my avid readers (Mom, Jameson, Tona) are curious.
I've been working and laying pretty low. I've been going through some transitions as well. The main transition, I guess, is finding new friends and releasing the old ones back into the wild from which they seemingly came.
My former friends became less of a joy to be around and more of a chore. One in particular started to feel like a full on committed relationship, and let us not kid ourselves, right? Once I start feeling like it's a chore to be around someone I just just juke them and run in the other direction (much like a certain person's certain drunken night in OKC).
Mom keeps reassuring me that I will find the perfect friend one day. I guess she would know. She is rather blessed with some of the most fantastic friends one could have. Her friends are good at listening and sharing advice if need be. My friends bombarded me with all of their worldly problems and wondered why I never shared mine. Is it so hard to wonder when listener can't get a word in edge-wise? Ha. Rocket science.
Work has been very good to me. This holiday season was very profitable. Though, I think it's time to start looking for a 9-5 and keep the service industry at bay until the weekends. It is a perfect job for me since I get to be as social as we all know I am, it isn't boring as we all know I hate, and its decent money which we all know I need, but it isn't a life time career.
I would love to open my own bar, but with out a shit-load of money and a concept not fully together it would seem rather impossible to accomplish that feat at this time. One day. Hmm.
I would also like to take this time to congratulate our dear Jameson on his engagement. After all these years of making fun of our significant others, he's going to be stuck with one for the rest of his life and not have the pleasure of blogging about it. It will be unfortunate to not read these fantastic stories anymore, but sigh, we must all grow up eventually and make that giant leap into looking into one person's eyes for the rest of our lives-- or some years. Or something.
At least his Mother will no longer be able to question his sexuality. There is an upside to everything.
Random thought: Remember the time she thought he was in the drug business because a large amount of money disappeared from his bank account and he didn't even tell her it was because he took a trip to Oklahoma randomly? Ha. Oh to be 20 again.
I will try to update more often, but I am going to use my usual excuse, I'm not very interesting any longer. I will try very hard to make someone cry or something. Until next time, Folks!
--Brittany Jonn.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I still exist.
I would just like to remind our dear reader(s) that I in fact do still exist and am still wandering around the United States, I'm busy as hell, and without the extra time to write, but I'll try to soon.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
What. In. The. Hell.
Ever had a day that was starting off so great that you said to yourself, "There is no way that this day could go bad"?
And then it did?
Just like walking into a sliding glass door when you're a little tipsy it hits you right in the face. "What in the hell," you ask yourself, "how did this even happen?"
Today was one of those days for me. A conversation with my mom went to shit in like 5 minutes. I'm not exaggerating, either. It went from constructive to, "I can't believe you just said that to me!"
Apparently, being honest with your mother is not the way to go. What the hell are you supposed to do when you want your mother to know that you think she is going about something the wrong way? You just want her to be healthy and happy. What is so wrong with that? I guess I just should have kept my mouth shut, but when have I ever done that? Wait. NEVER.
It's no secret that the past few weeks...months...(oh what the hell) years of my life have been nothing short of chaotic. Sure, things level out every once in a while, but you always know a shit-storm is in the forecast for sometime in the near future. It's never partly cloudy with a chance of drama. No. It's always take cover, Mother Fucker, Hurricane Don't-Give-A-Shit-If-You-Were-Having-A-Good-Day-Or-Not is about to hit. Higher ground? Not a chance. You just have to keep your head above water til the high winds slow down at least enough for you to grab onto something floating by--like a Newcastle, a glass of Crown and Coke (easy on the coke, please), or a nice pack of Camel Filters. Then, momentarily, life is okay again.
Recently my parents decided to get a divorce. Luckily, I'm nearing 24 so I didn't have to feel that whole, "It's my fault," stuff. I knew it was neither my fault, nor my brother or sister's fault. It's life's fault. Even a seemingly happy marriage of 24 years can lose it's sparkle. It's sad, right? Yea. It's also sad that divorce has to be so nasty, so noisy, and sometimes so scary. It's even more sad to feel caught in the middle not knowing which way to go.
Every day is a new day of walking around on eggshells for me it seems. I guess I'm just thankful that to spite all of the shit-storms I still have two great parents who I love with my whole heart. And even though it's stressful and hard to deal with sometimes I know that they both love me, too.
And then it did?
Just like walking into a sliding glass door when you're a little tipsy it hits you right in the face. "What in the hell," you ask yourself, "how did this even happen?"
Today was one of those days for me. A conversation with my mom went to shit in like 5 minutes. I'm not exaggerating, either. It went from constructive to, "I can't believe you just said that to me!"
Apparently, being honest with your mother is not the way to go. What the hell are you supposed to do when you want your mother to know that you think she is going about something the wrong way? You just want her to be healthy and happy. What is so wrong with that? I guess I just should have kept my mouth shut, but when have I ever done that? Wait. NEVER.
It's no secret that the past few weeks...months...(oh what the hell) years of my life have been nothing short of chaotic. Sure, things level out every once in a while, but you always know a shit-storm is in the forecast for sometime in the near future. It's never partly cloudy with a chance of drama. No. It's always take cover, Mother Fucker, Hurricane Don't-Give-A-Shit-If-You-Were-Having-A-Good-Day-Or-Not is about to hit. Higher ground? Not a chance. You just have to keep your head above water til the high winds slow down at least enough for you to grab onto something floating by--like a Newcastle, a glass of Crown and Coke (easy on the coke, please), or a nice pack of Camel Filters. Then, momentarily, life is okay again.
Recently my parents decided to get a divorce. Luckily, I'm nearing 24 so I didn't have to feel that whole, "It's my fault," stuff. I knew it was neither my fault, nor my brother or sister's fault. It's life's fault. Even a seemingly happy marriage of 24 years can lose it's sparkle. It's sad, right? Yea. It's also sad that divorce has to be so nasty, so noisy, and sometimes so scary. It's even more sad to feel caught in the middle not knowing which way to go.
Every day is a new day of walking around on eggshells for me it seems. I guess I'm just thankful that to spite all of the shit-storms I still have two great parents who I love with my whole heart. And even though it's stressful and hard to deal with sometimes I know that they both love me, too.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Ain't no rest for the Wicked
This may come as a surprise to you just like it did me. Apparently, uh, I'm an ass-hole.
My friend recently told me that he thinks I am unaware of how rude I sound sometimes. He thinks I don't think before I speak. Well, you know what I think? HE'S A DUMB-ASS! And yes, I completely thought that statement through before I typed it.
The thing is, is that my brain is really great at coming up with amazingly douchy things to say, and since I don't like wasting perfectly good thoughts-- I say them. Truthfully, I would not even make the douchy remarks if my ears were not offended by other people's constant stupidity. If you tell me that you never leave your home without at least $1,000 worth of clothes on, I'm probably going to be an ass-hole. If you tell me, with your most serious face on, that you would probably be nicer to me if I weren't so hot, I am probably going to ruin your world with my words. It's what I do. It's who I am.
Your stupidity warrants my being an ass-hole. Remember that always.
My friend recently told me that he thinks I am unaware of how rude I sound sometimes. He thinks I don't think before I speak. Well, you know what I think? HE'S A DUMB-ASS! And yes, I completely thought that statement through before I typed it.
The thing is, is that my brain is really great at coming up with amazingly douchy things to say, and since I don't like wasting perfectly good thoughts-- I say them. Truthfully, I would not even make the douchy remarks if my ears were not offended by other people's constant stupidity. If you tell me that you never leave your home without at least $1,000 worth of clothes on, I'm probably going to be an ass-hole. If you tell me, with your most serious face on, that you would probably be nicer to me if I weren't so hot, I am probably going to ruin your world with my words. It's what I do. It's who I am.
Your stupidity warrants my being an ass-hole. Remember that always.
Friday, March 6, 2009
I'm currently pondering a thought that may be a bit too deep for my usual trains of thought.
Looking around pictures of people on facebook, most of whom I used to at the least see around occasionally in high school, to the people who I had various in depth conversations, good and or bad times, life changing moments, and relationships to varying degrees, I had an odd realization come over me.
I don't seem to actually know any of these people. The pictures that I see and the names I glance over don't seem to actually register with the fact that these were people that I shared real-life experiences with. It seems hard to reconcile whatever they're doing now, or even the pictures of "way back when" with any actual concrete event. I mean, I remember these times, and I know they were there along with me - but there's some sort of hard to describe disconnect that's slightly disturbing. This is especially true with those who I spent a significant amount of time with and consider better friends.
I wonder if this is just something I experience, or if it's not that unusual. The person who I saw at a party one time sophomore year seems about as equal as the people I spent four years in high school with, at least in the way I view the slideshow of my memory.
It's vaguely like almost everyone I know or knew is as strange to me as the person I randomly pass on the street and think I may have seen before.
Disconcerting, to say the least.
-Jameson
Looking around pictures of people on facebook, most of whom I used to at the least see around occasionally in high school, to the people who I had various in depth conversations, good and or bad times, life changing moments, and relationships to varying degrees, I had an odd realization come over me.
I don't seem to actually know any of these people. The pictures that I see and the names I glance over don't seem to actually register with the fact that these were people that I shared real-life experiences with. It seems hard to reconcile whatever they're doing now, or even the pictures of "way back when" with any actual concrete event. I mean, I remember these times, and I know they were there along with me - but there's some sort of hard to describe disconnect that's slightly disturbing. This is especially true with those who I spent a significant amount of time with and consider better friends.
I wonder if this is just something I experience, or if it's not that unusual. The person who I saw at a party one time sophomore year seems about as equal as the people I spent four years in high school with, at least in the way I view the slideshow of my memory.
It's vaguely like almost everyone I know or knew is as strange to me as the person I randomly pass on the street and think I may have seen before.
Disconcerting, to say the least.
-Jameson
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
Then again, that might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
And now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around, oh no
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yeah, I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
Oh, but I can tell you exactly how it will end
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you will find
Well, I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I am still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have any other way
Oh, but I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same (every day)
Every day is exactly the same (there is no pain)
There is no love here, and there is no pain (every day)
Every day is exactly the same (every day is the same)
Video
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
Then again, that might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
And now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around, oh no
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yeah, I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
Oh, but I can tell you exactly how it will end
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you will find
Well, I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I am still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have any other way
Oh, but I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here, and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same (every day)
Every day is exactly the same (there is no pain)
There is no love here, and there is no pain (every day)
Every day is exactly the same (every day is the same)
Video
Friday, February 6, 2009
Use Somebody - KoL
Considering the fact that I'm clearly underrepresented on this site of which half is to be mine, I figured I should come back and spew some words.
Update. I no longer get the privilege of sitting around college campuses midwest-wide to get smashed and go on adventures. A while ago I dropped of the face of my social radar and procured a job. I'm still in the process of deciding if this was a good idea or not.
I no longer live in the midwest, a goal I'd hoped to achieve for a while. I am in a place that's nice all the time, but I happen to be mostly surrounded by people with even less social aptitude than I in a community that old people go to before they die. With only three decent bars to go to, my ideas for fun are rapidly declining. Never did I think I would miss the midwest as much as I currently do- apparently a haven for drunken bitterness is created when winter blasts the shit out of your bones for a while and leaves nothing but a craving for beer and scotch.
I haven't really had any life changing events occur unlike my compatriot. I do think that I'm slowly losing the ability to feel strongly about anything in particular though, a thought that might concern me if again, I really cared about it. One of the problems of becoming a too big of a picture person.
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust."
Not quite that extreme, but I use any opportunity to quote that movie.
Well fuck, let's get out of my boring updates and melancholy observations eh?
-Jameson
Update. I no longer get the privilege of sitting around college campuses midwest-wide to get smashed and go on adventures. A while ago I dropped of the face of my social radar and procured a job. I'm still in the process of deciding if this was a good idea or not.
I no longer live in the midwest, a goal I'd hoped to achieve for a while. I am in a place that's nice all the time, but I happen to be mostly surrounded by people with even less social aptitude than I in a community that old people go to before they die. With only three decent bars to go to, my ideas for fun are rapidly declining. Never did I think I would miss the midwest as much as I currently do- apparently a haven for drunken bitterness is created when winter blasts the shit out of your bones for a while and leaves nothing but a craving for beer and scotch.
I haven't really had any life changing events occur unlike my compatriot. I do think that I'm slowly losing the ability to feel strongly about anything in particular though, a thought that might concern me if again, I really cared about it. One of the problems of becoming a too big of a picture person.
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust."
Not quite that extreme, but I use any opportunity to quote that movie.
Well fuck, let's get out of my boring updates and melancholy observations eh?
-Jameson
difficulty, destruction, and other precious moments...
Let me begin this by saying FUCK.
Ah, that's better.
Life. What a stupid word. I mean, I'm glad that I have one (of sorts). And no, I don't want to end mine, but seriously. It's a stupid fucking broad ass word, and right now I hate it.
Life is like a ridiculously hard math equation (and let's be honest here-- math is not my strong point) with squared numbers and pie. I thought I had the problem half way worked out, but when numbers just randomly disappear from the equation you have to completely reconstruct the entire thing and start over. And dammit, I can't find my fucking calculator.
I'm confusing myself. I'll start over.
I had a boyfriend. He's gone now. He was about as yummy as Someone Else's half eaten taco, but I still kind of like loved him and shit. Gay, I know. I just thought that he was the one for me, you know? The stupid dating games had ended, and I was finally going to have my dumb-ass happily ever after. I was ready for that. Now, he's probably off nursing a bottle jagermeister, smoking a joint, and crying cause he lost the hottest girl he will ever get. I'm just now starting to realize that hot and ugly do not go together. Hot and hot go together. I very well could have had ugly kids, you guys. So, I guess it's OK that he went away. I have to preserve my hot genes for someone with equal or better hot genes. No more Skinny genes, though. I am so over those.
Lately it just seems like I wander through one shit-storm after another. I keep putting my happiness aside for this or that, and dammit I'm done. I'm 23 and still feel 12. I feel a lack of control over my own life. I feel like I can't be happy until everyone else around me is giving me a standing ovation and saying, "God Job, Brit. Now we are proud of you!"
Have you ever forgotten that you are the ultimate decision maker in your own life? I feel like I have given a piece of control to everyone in my life, and I have left myself with zero. So, sorry guys, but I am going to be an Indian-Giver and take it all back. I think I will be a lot happier if I don't feel like I have a OU Football Stadium worth of people watching me to see if I am going to GO! ALL! THE! WAY! or not. I hate feeling like I am letting people down. It's like the worst feeling ever (next to getting flicked in the balls, probably).
So that was difficulty and destruction. Here are some other precious moments:
1. I went on a "date" and had to leave the bar we were hanging out in so he could take a poop in the privacy of his own home. I was confused as hell because who doesn't get all the poop out before the date? If I was a privacy-only-pooper I would probably try to save myself from the humiliation of having to leave the public place with my date to take a deuce. That's just me. Unless that was his way of insuring that he would never have to see me again. If that was the case then kudos, Man. Mad props for going to that embarrassing level.
2. I had a social gathering in the comfort of my own bedroom. I didn't know it was going to come to that, but it was pretty entertaining. I actually watched 3 semi-hot guys lose all attractiveness by drinking a bag of wine (formerly a box) like it was gold, chocolate, and a boob all at once. It was that intense. I eventually had to ask for I.D.s because they were acting like it was some sweet nectar of the Gods that had never before been graced upon their tongue. It was called Delicious Red but ,JESUS, it wasn't that great.
Well, I guess this is going to have to wrap it up for this time. I will add more later.
Peace.
Ah, that's better.
Life. What a stupid word. I mean, I'm glad that I have one (of sorts). And no, I don't want to end mine, but seriously. It's a stupid fucking broad ass word, and right now I hate it.
Life is like a ridiculously hard math equation (and let's be honest here-- math is not my strong point) with squared numbers and pie. I thought I had the problem half way worked out, but when numbers just randomly disappear from the equation you have to completely reconstruct the entire thing and start over. And dammit, I can't find my fucking calculator.
I'm confusing myself. I'll start over.
I had a boyfriend. He's gone now. He was about as yummy as Someone Else's half eaten taco, but I still kind of like loved him and shit. Gay, I know. I just thought that he was the one for me, you know? The stupid dating games had ended, and I was finally going to have my dumb-ass happily ever after. I was ready for that. Now, he's probably off nursing a bottle jagermeister, smoking a joint, and crying cause he lost the hottest girl he will ever get. I'm just now starting to realize that hot and ugly do not go together. Hot and hot go together. I very well could have had ugly kids, you guys. So, I guess it's OK that he went away. I have to preserve my hot genes for someone with equal or better hot genes. No more Skinny genes, though. I am so over those.
Lately it just seems like I wander through one shit-storm after another. I keep putting my happiness aside for this or that, and dammit I'm done. I'm 23 and still feel 12. I feel a lack of control over my own life. I feel like I can't be happy until everyone else around me is giving me a standing ovation and saying, "God Job, Brit. Now we are proud of you!"
Have you ever forgotten that you are the ultimate decision maker in your own life? I feel like I have given a piece of control to everyone in my life, and I have left myself with zero. So, sorry guys, but I am going to be an Indian-Giver and take it all back. I think I will be a lot happier if I don't feel like I have a OU Football Stadium worth of people watching me to see if I am going to GO! ALL! THE! WAY! or not. I hate feeling like I am letting people down. It's like the worst feeling ever (next to getting flicked in the balls, probably).
So that was difficulty and destruction. Here are some other precious moments:
1. I went on a "date" and had to leave the bar we were hanging out in so he could take a poop in the privacy of his own home. I was confused as hell because who doesn't get all the poop out before the date? If I was a privacy-only-pooper I would probably try to save myself from the humiliation of having to leave the public place with my date to take a deuce. That's just me. Unless that was his way of insuring that he would never have to see me again. If that was the case then kudos, Man. Mad props for going to that embarrassing level.
2. I had a social gathering in the comfort of my own bedroom. I didn't know it was going to come to that, but it was pretty entertaining. I actually watched 3 semi-hot guys lose all attractiveness by drinking a bag of wine (formerly a box) like it was gold, chocolate, and a boob all at once. It was that intense. I eventually had to ask for I.D.s because they were acting like it was some sweet nectar of the Gods that had never before been graced upon their tongue. It was called Delicious Red but ,JESUS, it wasn't that great.
Well, I guess this is going to have to wrap it up for this time. I will add more later.
Peace.
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